So, I recently found myself sitting in a waiting room for an extended period of time with a friend. While we were sitting in this waiting room, I actually got bored enough to go into my phone's user created dictionary and start cleaning up typo's and words that I didn't want saved to the dictionary. My friend and I thought this was amusing, and while it could have just been delirium created by several hours of sitting in a hospital waiting room, I decided it was amusing enough to share the best seven with all of you.
1. 5 Different Variations of "Baum"
Internet, meet Baum.
Internet, I have a friend named Michael Rosenbaum. We call him Baum. My phone currently has 5 different variations of this saved to its dictionary. There's Baum, Baumster, Baumsquad, Baum.com, and Baumbadeer. Suck on that everyone. Baum has officially taken over my user created dictionary.
2. Beatles Inspired Puns
I have an ex girlfriend who didn't realize that the Beatles was a pun.
For some reason, one of my friends and I got into a Beatles pun battle. I don't remember this at all and I really don't even remember which friend it was. But now my User Created Dictionary includes Bingoeatles and Greatles.
3. Alchemy Terms
This is all you need to create Gold. No. Really.
A couple of months ago, my friend Lisa and I both got addicted to the Droid game Alchemy. In this game, you are given four basic elements and you must combine them to create 300 other elements. It's ridiculous. It was also fun until about 275. That's when I started cheating. Don't tell Lisa that I wasn't smart enough to come up with Star Wars on my own. Anyway, because of this game, I now have words such as carmine, caviar, cochineal, golem, Mentos, motorboat, and omelette in my phone.
4. An Assortment of Warcraft and Blizzard Terms
Is it sad that I'm thinking more about killing Alliance than her lack of clothing?
Yes, I play Warcraft. I quit once, but that only lasted about a week. And now anyone who looks through my User Created Dictionary will know exactly how nerdy I am. Although, who would steal my phone and look through my User Created Dictionary? I guarantee that is the last place I would explore if I stole your phone. But anyway, the full list of WoW and Blizzard terms includes dps, Garrosh, gnomes, hanslo, herbalism, Kek, mana, modan, murloc, Northrend, orc, prot, silverpine, tauren, terran, undead, warcraft, and warlock. Yes. 18 terms related to Warcraft and Blizzard. The really sad part is that I know that there would be a whole lot more, but for most of them, my phone was like, "wtf? that's not even close to a real word. You're on your own buddy."
5. Hypnotoad
All hail Hypnotoad.
Everybody loves Hypnotoad. There may or may not be someone who uses a recording of me doing the Hypnotoad sound effect as their ringtone.
6. Orly
Orly? Yarly.
Unfortunately, I cannot honestly say that I have never used the phrases "Orly" or "Yarly" in a text message.
7. Pimp-my-dreams
That's my kind of dream pimping.
I was going to write about how I completely forgot what this term was referring to, and that it could only have been a reference to my unrequited crush on Ellen Page and Inception. But then I typed pimp-my-dreams into Google and remembered that it was part of a link to a funny webcomic that I forwarded to a friend. (http://www.pidjin.net/2010/11/22/pimp-my-dreams/) I like the first option better though, because it allows me to post another picture of Ellen Page. I'm hoping that if I make enough references to her, she'll eventually be Googling her own name, find this blog, and send an email to madroguetheater@gmail.com.
Honorable Mentions
My Jimmy Smitts, Roofies, M. Night Shaymalan and tranny jokes will have to be saved for another entry.
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