7 Peculiar Phrases From My Cell Phone's User Created Dictionary

So, I recently found myself sitting in a waiting room for an extended period of time with a friend.  While we were sitting in this waiting room, I actually got bored enough to go into my phone's user created dictionary and start cleaning up typo's and words that I didn't want saved to the dictionary.  My friend and I thought this was amusing, and while it could have just been delirium created by several hours of sitting in a hospital waiting room, I decided it was amusing enough to share the best seven with all of you.

Movie Theater

Letters to People I Hate

By

Carl S. Entner

To The Person Who Sat In Front Of Me At The Theater

Hello sir. Might I suggest that you take a shower? The time that I spent with you was most pungent, and I always consider it wise when I go on an outing which will require me to stay in one place for a long time among strangers, that I do not have the aroma of cat feces wafting around my body.

Hair Cut

Letters To People I Hate

By

Carl S. Entner

To The Lady That Cut My Hair Today

When I agreed to let you cut my hair today I was not looking for somebody to have a nice conversation with. I was looking for a hair cut. I do not care what you think would be a great April Fools joke, its December and your idea was pretty stupid, you should consider keeping that to yourself and hope that moment of foolishness does not leak out into real life.